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<\/a>\nGretchen Rubin recommends\n<\/a>\nGretchen Rubin recommends\n\n“Act the way I want to feel:”<\/a>\n\n…often we feel because of the way we act. So by acting the way we wish we felt, we can change our emotions \u2013 a strategy that is uncannily effective.\n\nSecond, the world\u2019s reaction to us is quite influenced by the way we act toward the world. For example, in situation evocation, we spark a response from people that reinforces a tendency we already have \u2014 for example, if I act irritable all the time, the people around me are going to treat me with less patience and helpfulness, which will, in turn, stoke my irritability. If I can manage to joke around, I\u2019ll evoke a situation in which the people around me were more likely to joke around, too.\n<\/blockquote>\nThis is also the light side of the obesity network.<\/a>\nIf we are influenced by our friends to become obese or not,\nwe also influence our friends.\n
\nWhich leads, as always, to the same conclusion: that even though it\u2019s tempting sometimes to think that I\u2019d be much happier if other people would behave differently toward me, the only person whose behavior I can change is myself. If I want people to be friendlier to me, I must be friendlier. If I want my husband to be tender and romantic, I must be tender and romantic. If I want our household atmosphere to be light-hearted, I must be light-hearted.\n<\/blockquote>\nAnd if we want our spouses, friends, neighbors, community to be health weight,\nwe can help them become so by doing it ourselves first.\nAnd invite our friends to exercise, to pass up the donut for an orange,\nto go outside instead of watch TV.\n